I love to read affirmations, touchy-feely versions of what life has in store for me on any given day. And, actually, what happens on many days, is that the timeliness of what I read is directly related to what is going on in my life at the time. I guess that is the Universe speaking to me, sometimes in a whisper, sometimes in a screaming mimi kind of bellow. Which ever of those, it does reach me, and I always understand the language it is spoken in. The human language, which gets me right in the heart and soul every single time.
Today's life lesson is about old emotional baggage. I have a close friend in my life, who believes that I torture myself with sad, lonely emotions when I feel them, and if I stayed more in the moment, and stopped obsessing about wanting something I can't have right now, I would feel better. I beg to differ. I believe, that every little detail of emotion that I experience at any given time, is there for a purpose. And, for today, Melody Beattie agrees. I love her for that. I am almost always a happy, upbeat person. And, that is not just for appearances' sake. I really feel happy, to the core of my being, the majority of the time. But, when life throws me a curve, even when I am willingly in the ball game, I fall, I eat dirt, I choke. I feel small, helpless, and sadder than I think I can ever possibly feel. Melody tells me today in her book of affirmations, that sometimes our emotions take us out of the present moment of our lives. A feeling from our past comes creeping back up, that we have kept hidden away for a time. Instead of that being us getting off track, she believes that it is a doorway to healing. And I absolutely agree. Because, do you know what I realized in the midst of this raw, painful emotion? Is that, every time in my life when I am needing to fully let go of something, or someone, it hurts so badly that I think I could just about disappear. Then, I do let go, of the rope, the branch, the obsession. And, when I did that this time, I actually felt better. It was as if the cut started to heal almost immediately, I felt relief, and strength, and my glimmer of hope came back.
When those lessons are occurring, I despise them, because of the pain it brings. In the light of the new day, I am grateful for those lessons. Grateful to see the sun again, and grateful to be even stronger for my next challenge.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
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2 comments:
excellent post Vanessa! welcome to blogging.
Sometimes it seems like the hardest part -- and this may be what you were saying -- is in just realizing/recognizing THAT you need to let go of a certain thing, whatever (whomever) it may be.
I'm not so afraid of the pain as I am of not being sure that it's necessary.
Something painful just happened to me today, but at least I am sure of what happened. It narrows my focus as to what now needs to happen. :)
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