Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Love is like a broken bone.

About two months ago, our daughter was at her weekly dance class. When she was attempting to do one of the moves, she fell and held out her left hand to break her fall. Instead, she broke her wrist. A nice, clean break, no fractures or anything. Painful, uncomfortable, and a long recovery process, which required keeping the bone stabilized to make sure that it would grow back strongly and correctly.

Two weeks ago, her cast came off, yet, she still needed to avoid contact sports or other dangerous activities that could re-traumatize the area. Now, as of today, her bone is fully mended, and she can go back to her normal activities.

When considering her healing process, the process of a portion of her physical body being hurt, and then, healing, it reminded me a lot of love, of the love that I have with my partner. Like a broken bone. Two years ago, almost to the day, I told the love of my life that I needed to leave what we had created together, that I was no longer happy, that I believed that we were not going to make it. I practically heard the structure of love break in half at that moment, the earth stood still, it seemed surreal.

And, what a break it was, full of intense pain, uncomfortable sleep, heartache. Loss. Loss of ability to do things that I used to do: like having someone to talk to, laugh with, cry with...... I was alone. She was alone. We both were hurting deeply, grieving, grasping at what was no longer there. The love was broken. Like a broken bone.

One year ago, after keeping our love and our relationship in suspension for a year, after casting it and letting it heal, for God only knew what the outcome would be, we started talking about it again. We started to slowly resume what we used to be able to do, because some healing had taken place. The cast was off, we had some additional time to get strong, and then we resumed our activities, like a broken bone. We talked, we shared, we laughed and we cried together. We began to actively, slowly, use the love that had been healing for a year.

After my daughter broke her wrist, my dad told me that when a bone is broken, it grows back even stronger.

Love is like a broken bone, if we let it be. If we heal it properly, gently, and take care when the cast is removed, that love will be stronger than ever, more able to whether the stressors on it, more able to engage in activities that it enjoys.

Love is like a broken bone...............a casted bone........a healing bone....... a stronger bone.


SanityFound said...

Emotional healing like a broken bone, what a beautiful analogy and so true as well! So often during the healing process we learn the other person's true worth to us, what they really mean to us :) Fantastic post, absolutely beautiful!!! Hugs A

Vanessa Leigh said...

Thanks, that means so much from you! I am discovering about my writing that when thoughts come to me, usually during a walk, or when I am lying in bed in the quiet, is when I think of these ideas. This one was so telling...........Hugs right back!!!! V.

SanityFound said...

Aye it is the same for me, it is as if our minds are quieter during those times, things more clearer :D